If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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