Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
