ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
