sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
