I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
