so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
