and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Everclear isn't food dammit
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
