If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize