That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
