how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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