Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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