yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
