You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
