It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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