Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
