Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
