Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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