I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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