Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
