I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
