She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
