No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i now understand why vodka
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize