I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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