No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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