she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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