I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
