So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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