i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
