We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
