Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
