When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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