If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
