I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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