i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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