I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
