He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
