Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
