First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize