I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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