turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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