id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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