Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
