he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
