White coat. Heels.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
