Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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