All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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