My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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