before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
