so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
