I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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