if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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