I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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