I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
