I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
