Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
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I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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