What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
