If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm like, not good at living.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
