They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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