Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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