And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
