I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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