I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just had sex on a roof
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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