Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
