You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
