my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
