doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
