then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
