I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
