Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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