Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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