Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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